so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
