i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
