youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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