Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
