So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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