at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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