why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
