i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
