I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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