Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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