What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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