i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
