yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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