If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
