drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize