nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
