he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
