I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
