Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
