I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
