All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
