worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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