just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Damn victory sex feels great
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
