He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
