please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
