At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
