We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
