Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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