We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
