Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
