honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
