I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
