i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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