Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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