Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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