you're like a bully in the Christmas story
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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