We're facebook friends in real life
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You smell like a Billy Joel song
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
