why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
