Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
