we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
