with your own penis?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
