My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
