Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
