enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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