so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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