Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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