I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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