im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
