Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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