spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
