do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
