Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
