grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Pants are for mortals
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
