I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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