I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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