My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
