last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
