I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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