Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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