i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
