does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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